1. because i love the roll in my stomach when i reach for my next corona
2. because the top is the best part of the muffin
3. because your boobs catch your crumbs
4. because those margaritas aren’t going to drink themselves
5. because thigh gap? no thigh gap? who gives a shit?
6. because why the f*ck not?
7. because i didn’t shave my legs for nothing
8. because boobs are for sharing
9. because i found my soul mates and their names are chips and dip
10. because my cellulite wants to mingle
11. because i love my lady lumps
12. because i’m only getting more awesome
13. because i checked my inhibitions at the cabana
14. because depriving anyone of this would be inhumane
15. because throwing on a bathing suit takes so much less time than a business suit
16. because i'm too hot to be kept under wraps
17. because sidewalks are made for swim photoshoots.